23 Aug You are not alone: 6 Common Feelings Experienced by Mums in Lockdown
This blog was supposed to follow on from PART 1 about how to manage our mental health during this lockdown. I had 10 polished tips for you all on this topic but then I realised that something completely different was needed right now.
This blog is dedicated to ALL mums.
Many mums right now are finding themselves in an endless cycle of
Giving and doing
Giving and doing
Giving and giving
Doing and doing
Most of this giving and doing is happening in the confines of the family home where a feeling of ‘cabin fever’ is prevalent.
ALL mums are on the frontline during this lockdown in one way or another right now. Whether it is home schooling, working, studying, caring for struggling family members, or learning to be a first-time mum without the usual supports.
ALL mums in lockdown are feeling weathered and/or vulnerable in one way or another.
Stemming from this endless cycle are some very real feelings:
Towards the government and systems that are failing to support women and their families, and at times, even seem to target them. There is the common experience that some institutions and workplaces either don’t get what it’s like to be a mum right now, or worse, don’t even try to get it. Disillusioned as they feel let down by higher powers and cynical about any prospects of real change.
Anger and rage
Over seemingly small things. Even when they know it’s more about a build-up of so many things. Anger and resentment at anyone who belittles their experience, especially those closest to them, because they’re deemed better off or luckier than others. Anger at their kids unhelpful and provoking behaviours that seem to escalate at the most inconvenient times. Anger at their partners whose lives are not nearly as impacted and frustration because they don’t understand how hard it is as they are shielded from the realities.
About not being enough for their kids, co-workers, clients, family and friends. Guilty knowing that as their attention goes to one thing, it means another part of their life suffers. Guilty about feeling any negative emotions about lockdown life right now while the women in Afghanistan are losing their freedom in a far more profound and devastating way.
By how to juggle all these things and how to strike some sort of balance. Fed up with the non-stop conveyor belt of housework, cooking, looking after kids and all their needs, work, study and being a partner/friend/family member. Overwhelmed by the belief that they are trying to be across it all but only doing at best, a half decent job of any of it.
Feeling up and down
As some days can actually be ok, especially weekend days when the weather is good, and everyone is healthy. But a lot of mums feel like they’re stuck on an invisible see-saw that has a mind of its own. Feeling up and down as it’s not uncommon to start a day feeling defeated and down, to wind up hysterically laughing over something not really that funny. Feeling up and down because it’s either laugh like a hyena or fall on the ground in a crying heap.
In the face of so much to do. Feeling foggy, lethargic and unmotivated which can take the shine off the good stuff. Feeling bored by the “same same” of life right now and yearning for a break from all the responsibility. Feeling immobilised after the kid’s bedtime, choosing to stay up later than they should just to BE. Even if it is to numb out watching the RHOBH then waking up even more tired the next day.
Today, I offer no tips for you mums. What I offer instead is something truly powerful. Acknowledgement. Know you are not alone, and I stand with you.
More importantly, let’s stand united.
By sharing this blog with your networks, you too are demonstrating to the mums in your life that they are not alone, and you stand with them.
By sharing this blog with them you are saying I see you, I hear you, I feel you.
Thank you for all you are, and all you are giving and doing.